Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
