Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
