Who wears a wallet chain?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize