using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
