Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
