things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
