I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
