We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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