Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
