Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
