Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize