i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize