The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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