It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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