If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
