i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
