dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
