you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
