I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize