he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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