Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
