There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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