Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
