is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
