Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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