Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
