I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
