So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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