Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
