So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
