I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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