I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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