I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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