Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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