dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
