Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
