I got chris browned last night
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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