I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
