just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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