becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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