I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
