his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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