I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
