Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
