I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
