whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
