Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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