Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
