Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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