i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
