After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
