yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
