sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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