the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
