I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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