I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize