Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
