You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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