this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
